I thought this would be good around Valentine’s Day. I know I've addressed my marriage in general and the love I have for my wife, but in some way this would be part 2. Making a commitment by far is very difficult to do...and mean it! As I've mentioned before I've always tried to make it a point to follow through on any promise and boy is that hard to do. Trying to make a promise to the one you love is even harder!
I love the line "for better or for worse..." and of course the two of you stand there together saying your vows, you're not really thinking about the "worse" part of the sentence just the better half. Anyone who has been married knows that at some point, there is always a worse part. I realize no one ever wants to talk about it, but it really is a test to any person’s commitment and marriage. In my case, we've lost family members, had illnesses, had to separate for job reasons, been broke (money) several times; so going through these episodes can take a toll on a relationship and the commitment you made to each other. The best thing I can say is that it's always better to face the situation together than to face off with each other. I know blame can quickly be placed on each other, but what is done, is done and the both of you will have to decide how to solve the problem together. You always have to keep in mind WHY you made the commitment to your spouse in the first place.
I guess I better define my terms because I've used the words 'commitment' and 'promise' interchangeably. To me a promise is a statement that declares that you will do what you can to honor what you say you will do; a commitment is a statement and action that is given to a person for a lifetime. I see it as a very long promise. The bad part about a promise is that my Asperger's can get in the way in means of me forgetting I had ever made a promise! That can be very frustrating because I had every intention of unfulfilling what I said, but fail because I forgot what I would have to do. In this case it's not intentional; it's just how I am. When it comes to my marriage however, I can never forget. If I did I'd be a dead man! Let's just say the ring around my finger is a constant reminder. (Actually, I'd feel weird if I didn't have my ring on.)
I know that the state of marriage has changed a great deal over the last several decades and that over 50% end in divorce; but I think if you really consider the commitment you're making this might help you in whether or not you would want to follow through with the ceremony. You want to make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. It's so easy to say that I really love this person, but you have to ask yourself how much do really love the person? Do you feel like you can live your life with someone else? I guess you would have to ask yourself, how far do you want to go? To me, with Jaimee, it's always 'until death do us part.'
Song of Inspiration [Check it out on iTunes!]:
Song: "Heartbeat"
Artist: The Fray
Album: Scars & Stories
This is a photo of my oldest daughter Megan and her husband Chris. They made a commitment to be married and so far they're doing rather well...I'm very proud of the both of them. God Bless.