Skip to main content

Piece #39 - "I do..." Commitment


I thought this would be good around Valentine’s Day. I know I've addressed my marriage in general and the love I have for my wife, but in some way this would be part 2. Making a commitment by far is very difficult to do...and mean it! As I've mentioned before I've always tried to make it a point to follow through on any promise and boy is that hard to do. Trying to make a promise to the one you love is even harder!

I love the line "for better or for worse..." and of course the two of you stand there together saying your vows, you're not really thinking about the "worse" part of the sentence just the better half. Anyone who has been married knows that at some point, there is always a worse part. I realize no one ever wants to talk about it, but it really is a test to any person’s commitment and marriage. In my case, we've lost family members, had illnesses, had to separate for job reasons, been broke (money) several times; so going through these episodes can take a toll on a relationship and the commitment you made to each other. The best thing I can say is that it's always better to face the situation together than to face off with each other. I know blame can quickly be placed on each other, but what is done, is done and the both of you will have to decide how to solve the problem together. You always have to keep in mind WHY you made the commitment to your spouse in the first place.

I guess I better define my terms because I've used the words 'commitment' and 'promise' interchangeably. To me a promise is a statement that declares that you will do what you can to honor what you say you will do; a commitment is a statement and action that is given to a person for a lifetime. I see it as a very long promise. The bad part about a promise is that my Asperger's can get in the way in means of me forgetting I had ever made a promise! That can be very frustrating because I had every intention of unfulfilling what I said, but fail because I forgot what I would have to do. In this case it's not intentional; it's just how I am. When it comes to my marriage however, I can never forget. If I did I'd be a dead man! Let's just say the ring around my finger is a constant reminder. (Actually, I'd feel weird if I didn't have my ring on.)

I know that the state of marriage has changed a great deal over the last several decades and that over 50% end in divorce; but I think if you really consider the commitment you're making this might help you in whether or not you would want to follow through with the ceremony. You want to make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. It's so easy to say that I really love this person, but you have to ask yourself how much do really love the person? Do you feel like you can live your life with someone else? I guess you would have to ask yourself, how far do you want to go? To me, with Jaimee, it's always 'until death do us part.'

Song of Inspiration [Check it out on iTunes!]:

Song: "Heartbeat"

Artist: The Fray

Album: Scars & Stories




Here's the music video to the song I've suggested for this posting. This is a great love song!

 
 
 

This is a photo of my oldest daughter Megan and her husband Chris. They made a commitment to be married and so far they're doing rather well...I'm very proud of the both of them. God Bless.
 

Popular posts from this blog

Piece #110 - My Complex Discernment of Concrete versus Abstract

I very rarely start off any of my blog entries with a picture but, this photo will illustrate a rather compelling discussion about my Asperger brain. I can't think of a better example of just how complicated a small part of concrete versus abstract is processed in my mind. I will do my best to sort out the complete meaning behind this picture. There will be several odd turns but, stick with me because this will actually make sense in the end...plus if my wife gets it then we're good!
Defining Terms:
Completeness - The state or condition of having all the necessary or appropriate parts. Uniform - Identical or consistent, as from example to example, place to place or moment to moment. Commonality - The state of sharing features or attributes.
The first area I want to address is uniform. Of course, I'm not talking about an outfit; I'm talking about consistency; the idea that flows smoothly from the top to the bottom. I guess a good example is like looking at a baseball card, a…

Broken Piece #2 - Susan Boyle

For those of you who are not sure who is Susan Boyle, she was the second place winner to the show "Britain's Got Talent" in 2009. She sang the famous song from LesMis√©rables "I Dreamed the Dream". Since the show, Susan had been making guest appearances on a variety of shows and recorded several albums. Susan's first album alone broke several chart-records and was very well received around the world. I believe why she had such incredible appeal was because she was a perfect representative of all the 'regular people' in the world. She didn't come in flashy or striking but, modest and humble. When a person like Susan is thrown into the whirlwind of concerts, parties, media, and money, it's very difficult to stay grounded and not having your own personal world torn apart. Sadly for Susan Boyle, her tiny universe is crumbling. First, she did have a health scare when she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes that prompted her to lose weight. Second, …

Piece #111 - First Impressions

"You already know that making a good first impression can go a long way. But forget all the advice you've received about dressing to impress or putting on a cheesy smile. Turns out, the true secret to building a lasting connection reaches much deeper than what you wear." "According to Amy Cuddy, a Harvard Business School professor who has researched first impressions for more than 15 years, everyone (consciously or subconsciously) asks two questions when they meeting someone new: Can I trust this person? And can I respect this person?" This quote comes from Reader's Digest and I actually found this rather compelling because I never really heard of this before. I've addressed this topic of first impressions in the past but, I have to admit that this idea is interesting. I guess since you hear a lot of things from a smile, the outfit or what you say make the difference; however these two questions have me a little perplexed. I think it depends on the situat…