Skip to main content

Piece #111 - First Impressions

"You already know that making a good first impression can go a long way. But forget all the advice you've received about dressing to impress or putting on a cheesy smile. Turns out, the true secret to building a lasting connection reaches much deeper than what you wear."
"According to Amy Cuddy, a Harvard Business School professor who has researched first impressions for more than 15 years, everyone (consciously or subconsciously) asks two questions when they meeting someone new: Can I trust this person? And can I respect this person?"
This quote comes from Reader's Digest and I actually found this rather compelling because I never really heard of this before. I've addressed this topic of first impressions in the past but, I have to admit that this idea is interesting. I guess since you hear a lot of things from a smile, the outfit or what you say make the difference; however these two questions have me a little perplexed. I think it depends on the situation. If we're talking straight interview for a job, then I guess those are two really important questions. What if you're on a date? Same two questions? (Another thought is would it be the same for a person with Asperger's?)

The only way I can personally approach this is using what I've observed with a person who has an Asperger brain. I really had to give this a real thought on whether this would be true for people who are hiring other people. I guess in some instance if I'm hiring a person for any certain job, this maybe a question that would come to me because if I want a well run business then I would want people I can depend on and trust with the responsibilities that the job may require. I would think dependability and trust would be the two biggest things more than respect. I feel like respect is a funny animal, or at least an illusion in the beginning because respect is developed and earned. Trying to make a judgement on respecting someone prior to really getting to know them is honestly near to impossible.

If this were a dating situation where I would be trying to find that special someone to live my life with then trust and respect will play a part but, not immediately and those two don't seem to top my list of 'first impressions' of finding a mate. I agree that trust in a companion is paramount but, if I were looking I think another word that would be better with trust I have to say it would be compatibility. As I mentioned before in dealing with a job, respect is one of those things that is slowly earned in a relationship; it just doesn't really happen that fast. If you think respect is a quick thing to earn then you are definitely fooling yourself. True respect is established in the actions we take and the things we say to back our work. Unlike messing up and losing respect on the job, if I lost the respect of my companion then I believe that hurts a lot more personally than in a work environment. I think of respect this way, it takes a lot of time to build but, no time to loss if we screw up. Trust can take time, especially in a relationship, but not as long as respect. Sadly, trust and respect can quickly escape together if you pull a knuckle-headed stunt.

Love and relationship versus job and the workplace are two very different settings. One is by far more intimate than the other. I find the idea of first impressions with our judgments being primarily trust and respect be a little far fetched, however I guess there might be some merit to the theory. I never read any real backing behind the idea or where the researcher came up with these two founding beliefs but, I guess if this person was doing this for 15 years then it has to be true...right?  Technically, we're not given how this was researched or what tool they used to measure their findings so I'm a little unsure on the validity of this information. I just found this rather amusing but, not quite believable. Of course, you all can have your own opinion about the article and it's information but, I find there are other things that play a more immediate role in sizing up an individual in the case of either a job or a love interest.

Just remember - "You never get a second chance to make a first impression."

Song of Inspiration (Check it out on iTunes or Play Store!):

Song: "The First Time"

Artist: Family Force 5

Album: Dance or Die

Here's the video for the selected song:


Popular posts from this blog

Piece #110 - My Complex Discernment of Concrete versus Abstract

I very rarely start off any of my blog entries with a picture but, this photo will illustrate a rather compelling discussion about my Asperger brain. I can't think of a better example of just how complicated a small part of concrete versus abstract is processed in my mind. I will do my best to sort out the complete meaning behind this picture. There will be several odd turns but, stick with me because this will actually make sense in the if my wife gets it then we're good!
Defining Terms:
Completeness - The state or condition of having all the necessary or appropriate parts. Uniform - Identical or consistent, as from example to example, place to place or moment to moment. Commonality - The state of sharing features or attributes.
The first area I want to address is uniform. Of course, I'm not talking about an outfit; I'm talking about consistency; the idea that flows smoothly from the top to the bottom. I guess a good example is like looking at a baseball card, a…

Broken Piece #2 - Susan Boyle

For those of you who are not sure who is Susan Boyle, she was the second place winner to the show "Britain's Got Talent" in 2009. She sang the famous song from LesMis√©rables "I Dreamed the Dream". Since the show, Susan had been making guest appearances on a variety of shows and recorded several albums. Susan's first album alone broke several chart-records and was very well received around the world. I believe why she had such incredible appeal was because she was a perfect representative of all the 'regular people' in the world. She didn't come in flashy or striking but, modest and humble. When a person like Susan is thrown into the whirlwind of concerts, parties, media, and money, it's very difficult to stay grounded and not having your own personal world torn apart. Sadly for Susan Boyle, her tiny universe is crumbling. First, she did have a health scare when she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes that prompted her to lose weight. Second, …