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Piece #21 - Courage

Anyone with Asperger's can identify how tricky it is to know what real courage or bravery might seem like. If you ask any child as to who is a hero, you might get answers like: some superhero, police officer or firefighter. All the answers would be good ones, but the line between courage and cowardliness can be very thin. Being afraid of doing something that might take a big risk, but actually reacting to the situation and doing something about it versus not doing anything is a good example.

I always saw myself as a person who tried to shy away from conflict. I guess people who face the conflict are always seen as courageous, but in many cases I believe its recklessness. Most people with Asperger’s have a tendency to stay away because we don't want to deal with the drama. My girls are the same way, they would rather side step a confrontation rather than dealing with it head on. Of course this isn't all the time and situations have lent themselves into having to face it only because the situation will never resolve itself unless we take care of it; no matter how much pain it might inflict. Being a teacher, there were many occasions that I've had to step in during a fight between two students...I don't recommend doing that unless you're trained to deal with those situations.

Although I'm now in my 40's, I still find myself trying to stay away from confrontations rather than facing them directly. The only time I really would rather face someone is when I have to make a phone call. For some reason, I would rather face someone in conversation than having to make a phone call because I want to see their facial expressions and read the reaction rather than trying to decipher it over the phone.

I have help when it comes to dealing with issues. If I didn't have the help, I'm not sure if I'd ever be able to face situations. I need to note that the Wellbutrin that I take to help me be more self-aware can backfire a little because I'm more self-aware, the more stress it can make me feel. I understand the importance, but I wonder how much is actually good for me.

Song of Inspiration [Check it out on iTunes!]:

Song: "Courageous"

Artist: Casting Crowns

Album: Come to the Well

Here's the video for the selected song:

Sadly, on Mother's Day May 13th, 2012, my beautiful Grandmother Addis went to be with the Lord. Here was a woman of courage, going through breast cancer, the loss of two husbands and countless other tragedies. In the end, I know Jesus has told her "Well done, good and faithful servant." God bless you Grandma.

{I'm sorry this has taken a while, but work and school had taken a lot of my time. I'll try to churn more out.}

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