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Piece #15 - "What did you say, Honey?"

I would like warn everyone right now that my wife could easily write the rest of this blog. (It wouldn't surprise me if her comment is longer than my blog!) There are two things everyone needs to understand about listening, 1.) It's not the same as 'hearing'. Hearing is one of your 5 senses, it helps you with the listening, but they are different. 2.) Listening is work. I have told my speech and drama classes that for years and each time they look at me like I'm nuts. (Depending on your definition!) To actually listen, it takes a lot of effort and energy. Eye contact and acknowledgment of the speaker is mandatory. As adult with Asperger's, the toughest of those has to be the eye contact. My wife is a very beautiful woman, but even with her good looks, I still have a hard time looking in the eyes for a long period of time...especially when she's mad at me!

I've been married for over 20 years and the one thing that makes a differences beginning able to communicate with each other. I have to admit that through the years, I believe my hearing has been deteriorating. When I'm in class, I find myself having to approach the student closer to hear what they are saying. I know this has been troublesome for my wife, with this hearing problem, but at least she realizes the problem and is a little more patient when I have a hard time taking in the information. I think the tragic thing is that I love music and it would be a bitter disappointment if I lost the chance to be able to listen to music. When I was younger, I had attended several rock concerts and I'll never forget the 'ringing' sound I'd get in my ears afterwards. To my understanding, the ringing that I heard is a bad thing. That is a sign that you have done some damage to some part of the ear. (Did you know that the smallest bones in your body are in the inner ear?) If you ever decide that you want to attend a concert, you might want to consider getting some foam ear plugs, because if you notice, the musicians on stage will wear them...for a good reason!

If you want to have a wonderful relationship to work there are just a few things that are critical, first both must have Christ in your life...if there is anyone you must listen to the most, it would be Him! Second, there should be something that the both of you can share together like movies, music, interests, etc. Third, you need to listen to your partner, not always what they say from their lips, but sometimes it's what they don't say and yet that can speak volumes. It is their nonverbal messages that can be missed...if you're not listening. (That is something I'm still trying to pick up...especially with the Asperger's, it's difficult.)

Song of Inspiration [Check it out on iTunes!]:

Song: “Listen to the Sound”

Artist: Building 429

Album: Listen to the Sound

This is Jaimee and I when we were a lot younger; we were at Table Rock Lake trying out the water skies. This event definitely put our listening to the test! (Just to let you folks know that is a REAL water ski, not a Sea Doo.)

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