Skip to main content

Piece #12 - "Temper, Temper."


Anger is a learned behavior. When we come into this world, we comprehend how to react to things by watching others. One of my many...many weaknesses has always been my anger. As you can tell I enjoy writing and whenever I've written in my characters for a story, at least one would have an anger issue. The story I'm currently writing now called Horizon, the main character Miko has problems with her rage. It's something she'll have to deal with throughout the entire story. I guess in many ways it's a reflection on how I've had to handle it. Early in our marriage, I had warned my wife that I would need her help in making sure I wouldn’t let the anger get ahold of me, for the main reason...the kids. I love my girls way too much for them to pick up the same bad habit. Yes, I obviously understand that we all get angry from time to time. (Even Jesus got angry when merchants were selling their items in the temple.) I'm talking about an extreme anger when in many cases, it wasn't called for. The problem is this is an emotion that comes on very quickly for me and in an instant, I make a judgment about something, or someone and in turn; I hurt them. Since I have Asperger's, once I make the fatal mistake, I beat myself up about the inappropriate action I had taken.

The best example I can give was when I was still in college (undergrad), of course I don't remember why I was angry at my oldest daughter Megan, but we were leaving to go somewhere and I was so upset that I spanked her outside as we were heading to the car. All I remember was in that instances, I made a serious error. I knew that the punishment did not fit the crime. And when Megan turned around with her beautiful brown eyes full of tears; I realized right then and there...I had to change. Some autistic people would agree that our short term memory sucks, but the long term holds true and the image of my baby girl with that face bores into my head like a drill, as a permanent reminder of how I needed to check myself and my temper.

To be honest, I've had better luck at dealing with my anger since I knew I had Asperger's. Is it completely cured? No, it never will be. I can only hope I'm a little quicker to dissolve the anger before it gets going. (Geez! This almost sounds like the Hulk. I used to love the TV show...Yes, there was a TV show before the movies.) Getting older actually helps as well. I know that sounds odd considering most people think the older, the grouchier! I believe I’ve gained wisdom from my experiences and so I'm able the handle the rage a little better.

“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” James 1:19-20



Song of Inspiration [Check it out on iTunes!]:

Song: “Dear X, You Don’t Own Me”

Artist: Disciple

Album: Horseshoes & Hand Grenades


Here's a music video of this song...with lyrics.










This is Megan and Alicia playing in the sandbox. Megan is the one offering me a shove. Now who could get angry with a face like that! I love you, Bacon!

Popular posts from this blog

Piece #110 - My Complex Discernment of Concrete versus Abstract

I very rarely start off any of my blog entries with a picture but, this photo will illustrate a rather compelling discussion about my Asperger brain. I can't think of a better example of just how complicated a small part of concrete versus abstract is processed in my mind. I will do my best to sort out the complete meaning behind this picture. There will be several odd turns but, stick with me because this will actually make sense in the end...plus if my wife gets it then we're good!
Defining Terms:
Completeness - The state or condition of having all the necessary or appropriate parts. Uniform - Identical or consistent, as from example to example, place to place or moment to moment. Commonality - The state of sharing features or attributes.
The first area I want to address is uniform. Of course, I'm not talking about an outfit; I'm talking about consistency; the idea that flows smoothly from the top to the bottom. I guess a good example is like looking at a baseball card, a…

Broken Piece #2 - Susan Boyle

For those of you who are not sure who is Susan Boyle, she was the second place winner to the show "Britain's Got Talent" in 2009. She sang the famous song from LesMis√©rables "I Dreamed the Dream". Since the show, Susan had been making guest appearances on a variety of shows and recorded several albums. Susan's first album alone broke several chart-records and was very well received around the world. I believe why she had such incredible appeal was because she was a perfect representative of all the 'regular people' in the world. She didn't come in flashy or striking but, modest and humble. When a person like Susan is thrown into the whirlwind of concerts, parties, media, and money, it's very difficult to stay grounded and not having your own personal world torn apart. Sadly for Susan Boyle, her tiny universe is crumbling. First, she did have a health scare when she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes that prompted her to lose weight. Second, …

Piece #111 - First Impressions

"You already know that making a good first impression can go a long way. But forget all the advice you've received about dressing to impress or putting on a cheesy smile. Turns out, the true secret to building a lasting connection reaches much deeper than what you wear." "According to Amy Cuddy, a Harvard Business School professor who has researched first impressions for more than 15 years, everyone (consciously or subconsciously) asks two questions when they meeting someone new: Can I trust this person? And can I respect this person?" This quote comes from Reader's Digest and I actually found this rather compelling because I never really heard of this before. I've addressed this topic of first impressions in the past but, I have to admit that this idea is interesting. I guess since you hear a lot of things from a smile, the outfit or what you say make the difference; however these two questions have me a little perplexed. I think it depends on the situat…