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Piece #86 - The Tragedy of Graham Gentles

Throughout many of my postings, I have highlighted news stories about people with autism/Asperger's and the plight they had to inure. This one honestly makes me very angry and sad because the end is one that was truly tragic. The story is that of the late Graham Gentles who had Asperger's Syndrome and he had found himself face to face with a traumatic situation all because of his condition. Below is the story from Yahoo news:

Three days after Graham Gentles was fired without warning from the Pasadena Target where he worked last July, the 22-year-old committed suicide. Now his mother, Virginia Gentles, is calling for Target to take responsibility for its role in his death. In the wrongful death lawsuit Virginia filed against Target in L.A. she alleges that the company engaged in intentional infliction of emotional distress on her son, who had Asperger’s syndrome, negligence, and false imprisonment as part of a company practice that subjects employees to a “walk of shame” before they are let go. 
"The walk of shame is a Target policy to purposely cause shame, embarrassment and emotional distress to any Target employee who is suspected of stealing from Target,” the suit, filed last Thursday, states, according to NBC Los Angeles. ”The policy consists of employees being arrested and paraded in handcuffs through the Target store in full view of co-workers and customers.” The suit alleges that’s exactly what happened on July 15, 2014 to Graham, who was later released and not charged with any crime. (The true reason for his firing, according to his mom, was an off-site verbal altercation Gentles had with another employee months prior).

“This is about holding Target accountable,” Virginia Gentles tells Yahoo Parenting of the incident that upset her son so much that he jumped off the roof of a hotel in Monrovia, California to his death. “My point is to get this barbaric [‘walk of shame’] practice to stop.”


Graham and Virginia Gentles. Photo: Facebook/Graham Gentles Memorial Page

Target, however, denies that these “walks” even take place. “Our thoughts and sympathies go out to the friends and family of this individual,” Molly Snyder, group manager of public relations for Target in Minneapolis, tells Yahoo Parenting via email in response to a request for comment. “The allegations in the lawsuit of a Target policy or practice are simply not true. There is no such policy. As this is pending litigation, we don’t have further comment at this time.”
Former employees have been reaching out to Virginia since she set up a memorial page to Graham on Facebook, says the mother, to share their own “walk of shame” horror stories. “I don’t understand how Target can say this is not happening,” she insists. “I have received many messages from employees and former employees. Some were forced in the walk and others witnessed. They all describe it the same. I am speaking of Targets across the country.” She adds that she received a note from an employee who witnessed a “walk” in which security staff was “laughing and high-fiving.” 
Graham had many close friends he worked with at Target, says Virginia, noting that many of the 200 mourners who turned out for his funeral were fellow employees – so being ousted from the job stunned him to the core. “Other people know how to let things roll off of their back,” she says. But her son’s Asperger’s syndrome kept him locked in the feelings of torment from that day. “The only thing he said to me at that moment was, ‘Mom this is the worst day of my life,’” Virigina told local media. Her attorney explained to ABC 7 that the emotional distress they’re suing over was crippling. “This was part of his extended family,” said Patrick McNicholas. “He had indicated that he felt safe there. This is where his friends were, so he felt as though he lost all of that in one moment.” 

With this lawsuit, Virginia hopes to change the culture of humiliation that she says Graham endured, so no one else becomes a victim. “My son was such a nice young man,” she laments. “I just want Target to be honest and admit that this happened and say that they won’t let it happen again.”


This story in particular hits too close to home for me. I can really understand how he felt and what he was thinking. I have had a kind of similar circumstances of roughly the same thing from employees stabbing you the back when I might say something, but it came out the wrong way so they get revenge, to the humiliation of being removed from a job. This is another example of the reality of how people don't see autism as a disability went that is completely false! The stress is enormous and the internal battle of whether you want to keep living or ending it all intensifies. The only thing I can say is if you are finding yourself in the same situation…get help! There is no shame in asking for assistance because if you think you can handle the situation by yourself then you are sadly mistaken. My saving grace has been my Lord and my wife. If I didn't have these two people then I won’t be here writing this post. My heart goes out the Gentles family and May Lord give you comfort in your time of loss.

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