Piece #82 - A deep Depression

I realize Christmas is coming and coming soon. I've always heard that Christmas time is one the most depressing times in the whole year! I have no numbers or articles to back this statement, but I think we can agree that depression can run really high during this time of the year. As everyone else, I've always heard about it and I thought I understood it, but I think in some way I really didn't. I could recall on several occasions as a teacher when I felt 'down' and disheartened, but I wouldn't call being it being depressed. Before I even knew that I had Asperger's, I probably assumed I was in a chronic state of being depressed, but I can honestly say that was never the case. There were many times when I was highly stressed, but not depressed. At this point it would be a good idea to see how the Webster Dictionary defines ‘depression’: a serious medical condition in which a person feels very sad, hopeless, and unimportant and often is unable to live in a normal way. I really believe the key words in the definition are "live in a normal way". In my small thinking with a person with Asperger's, I really didn't understand what a normal way was.

Since I have been diagnosed and have a much more self-awareness of everything around me, which established normal way has been much more defined for me personally. One of the newest phases that I have been doing through lately is depression. For a while, I wasn't willing to admit it and I know that my wife has been fighting it for quite a while because hers is a very severe case right now, but I know she'll get through it. The only reason why I came to the same conclusion about myself is because things that I had no problem doing before, I can't seem to do them now.

I realize not doing work sounds like a pitiful excuse for just not doing it, but it goes much further than that. The best as way I can describe it was when Douglas MacArthur had addressed Congress about the Korean War and basically going over President Truman's head; he said in his speech "that old soldiers never die, they just fade away". The idea being that whatever we are talented in life, like for me writing, depression is like we want to do what we love, but undertaking it becomes a struggle. Right now, I'm having a hard time really writing anything. It's been a tussle just to write this blog. This lack of motivation really befuddles me because I generally love to write, yet I can't.

I really think I'm going to be the fight of my life. I've always had to deal with difficulties of all kinds but, I never would have thought I would have to face off against mediocrity. As a Christian, it's one of the devil's favorite things because if I don't make an effort to go out and spread the good news then I've lost that moment Satan has won another day. Satan never wants anyone to know the truth and especially during the Christmas year. I know I can get past this, but I really believe I'll need the Lord's help. If you are in the same boat as I am, please just remember that it's not the end of the world and you can get better, but it has to start with the first step...changing your outlook. I realize that is an easier said than done, but the depressive outlook had to start somewhere, now we just need to readjust that perspective to one of promise and a better way of life. I've said this lots of times but, you still only have one life and that's it. Would you like to think that you can make the most of it? You're just going to have to do the hardest thing of all...try.

Song of Inspiration [Check it out on iTunes or Android!]:

Song: "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas"

Artist: Jaci Velasquez

Album: {Christ}mas

Here's the music to the selected song...sorry, there wasn't a true video.

Don't let depression kill your Christmas.

Piece #111 - First Impressions

"You already know that making a good first impression can go a long way. But forget all the advice you've received about dressing to impress or putting on a cheesy smile. Turns out, the true secret to building a lasting connection reaches much deeper than what you wear." "According to Amy Cuddy, a Harvard Business School professor who has researched first impressions for more than 15 years, everyone (consciously or subconsciously) asks two questions when they meeting someone new: Can I trust this person? And can I respect this person?" This quote comes from Reader's Digest and I actually found this rather compelling because I never really heard of this before. I've addressed this topic of first impressions in the past but, I have to admit that this idea is interesting. I guess since you hear a lot of things from a smile, the outfit or what you say make the difference; however these two questions have me a little perplexed. I think it depends on the ...

Piece #1 - The Beginning

I guess like embarking on any puzzle, it must always starts with the first piece. So to begin, I have Asperger's Syndrome, in other words I'm Autistic, and so this literature will be about my struggles with this disorder as an adult. I was first diagnosed back in the summer of 2004. If it wasn't for my twin daughters, I might not have ever known all the questions I have ever had in life; to them, I will always be in their debt. Growing up, you are never really aware of any differences until the judgment years...6th thru 12th grade of school. A time when one always tests their own humanity against others; meaning, how will I measure up against other students. In my eyes I seemed to be just like them; two arms and legs, ten fingers and toes, head and body...nothing unusual. Yet, for some reason, I was treated a little different than everyone else. That's one of those things that you can't quite put your finger on, but I observed on many occasions how kids would talk...

Broken Piece #2 - Susan Boyle

For those of you who are not sure who is Susan Boyle, she was the second place winner to the show "Britain's Got Talent" in 2009. She sang the famous song from Les Misérables "I Dreamed the Dream". Since the show, Susan had been making guest appearances on a variety of shows and recorded several albums. Susan's first album alone broke several chart-records and was very well received around the world. I believe why she had such incredible appeal was because she was a perfect representative of all the 'regular people' in the world. She didn't come in flashy or striking but, modest and humble. When a person like Susan is thrown into the whirlwind of concerts, parties, media, and money, it's very difficult to stay grounded and not having your own personal world torn apart. Sadly for Susan Boyle, her tiny universe is crumbling. First, she did have a health scare when she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes that prompted her to lose weight. Se...

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