A large gathering people didn't bother me too much, but as I've gotten older my opinion has changed slightly. Now granted, I'm not talking about getting in the right crowd or a bad crowd, but just a large mass of people in one general location. I remember going to rock concerts, sporting events, museums, conventions and not be fazed by extremely large groups of people. I don't know if it's my age. I don't know if it's the new medication that helps me be more aware of my surroundings. All I know is my views on crowds have changes quite a bit.
The idea of this posting actually came to me when I was in an elevator. Since I don't ride very many elevators I never gave this a lot of thought, but other than family or friends I tend to dislike elevators if other people are in it too. I handle the situation well enough, but when I enter and I don't see any one around immediately then I'm pushing that close button as fast as I can. There have been several occasions when I find myself taking the stairs! Other than the great exercise, I think it gives me more control on how fast I want to go and not having to fear people around me because honestly most folks don't like taking the stairs.
This next thing might sound a little silly, but even in my own car I'm not too keen on a large crowd of cars. Granted I don't think people enjoy a large amount of traffic, but I will think of any way to get out of having to wait through traffic. I guess this goes back to having control over my rate of travel, but it's not nearly as bad as being in the middle of groups of people. I just know most people don't like rush hour and many times they will wait until an earlier or later time to leave. I have to say the weirdest thing has got the public restrooms. I actually feel more comfortable when there isn't a single person in the restroom. If there are several guys in the men's room then I will not go in...period! I can handle a few people and if I really have to go then I tend to ignore most of my fears to get to a stall. The restroom is by far one of the most awkward places to be!
I can be a 'people' person; it's just a little hard to muster up the strength to step forward to be that person. If I ever get anything published, I know I will have to really push myself forward because I know there will be people who would want to meet me and talk to me about anything from their own experiences to maybe something they had a question on in the book. Don't get me wrong, I actually do like a well-educated conversation, but trying to carry small talk for a length of time can be taxing for me. Sometimes, I don't even know when enough is enough in a conversation. I will admit it would be loads of fun to meet any reader of my material.
I still get fidgety when I know I'm going to walk into a crowd of people. I have to find the motivation to want to be there in the first place, like going to a sporting event or a movie knowing that lots of people will be there, but the reward out weights the headache. I have to keep a positive outlook on why I would put myself among all these people. The crowds can drive me crazy but, if there is an incentive for it then count me in...even if I lose my mind!
Song of Inspiration [Check it out on iTunes or Android!]:
Artist: Toby Mac
Album: Portable Sounds
Here's the lyrics to the selected song:
WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE!!!