Skip to main content

Piece #49 - Minds-n-Mazes

Throughout this blog, I've tried to give the average person a glimpse of what it's like to live this life with Asperger's Syndrome. In some ways, if you were to ask me what my brain is like in its thought processes; the best answer I can give you is my mind is like a complicated maze. It is true that I do forget things like information, instructions, what people have said, clothes that were worn, what I did that day, etc. It's mostly my short term memory that slips, but there are many times when I suddenly remember, a song, a certain phrase that I hear, something on TV; things like that can all be triggers for my brain to suddenly remember an event or other things that jog my memory. Experts say that people with Asperger's have incredibly high I.Q.'s which I was tested and that is the case. (Actually, Christen and Sarah have been tested with high I.Q.'s as well.) I'm not big on bragging about how smart I am because I didn't do that well in high school and I barely finished my under-grad. I did do very well in my Master's work.

I realize many of you can move pretty freely with your memories, thoughts and patterns. I sadly am all over the place, random is the best word I can think of. If you want to know were awkward moments come up, it's when I'm overhearing a discussion and one person might state a phrase that I might have heard in a movie so I blurted it out in the middle of the discussion when it had nothing to do with the topic. I remember trying to 'fit in' with using my knowledge on things that the group might be discussing, but just my mere present was bad enough, regardless the interesting information I might have had provided. Strangely, it does even have to be the correct words, if the beat or rhyme is exact; I'll still blurt it out in the correct form. For example, if someone said "Goin' floatin' in the boat." my brain might pick up the beat and spit out "Orange mocha Frappuccino." (That's from Zoolander the movie.) I understand that seems a little twisted, but that's just a small sample of how I tick.

When I was young, I really enjoyed mazes. I remember my mom buying several maze books because I couldn't get enough. I'm not sure if it's the idea of reorienting things or just puzzles solving, but navigating my way through a series of twist, turns and traps I find fascinating. I enjoy taking puzzles that are messed up and put them back into an asymmetrical position. The irony is what I'd like to do on the outside is almost impossible to do inside my own head! Whenever I'm trying to write a story, I produce lots of images in my head like a movie picture, but I have to then sort it all out on paper because I can't do it in my head. I can almost see the whole story, but it's all displaced. I always have to be careful not to go off the deep end because I can get too technical if I'm not careful. I would basically end up boring the reader.

Of course, I have no idea how each of your own individual minds work, I know from what people tell me about their thought processes. I just thought I'd take a moment and reveal how my brain works for me. Sadly, there are times when I need to say something important to someone and my head tries exhaustingly for the correct word or phrase to use, but many times in the end I just stand there and say nothing. I think that's what can hurt the worse with Asperger's.

Song on Inspiration [Check it out on iTunes or Android!]:

Song: "Madness in Me"

Artist: Skillet

Album: Rise

If you haven't check out Skillet's new album, it would really be worth your time! Here's the song and lyrics for the Madness in Me song.

                       Here's something for you the think about!

Popular posts from this blog

Piece #72 - Brant Hansen, the radio voice for Asperger's

This might seem a little unusual for my blog to be talking about a certain person, especially one that I've never met in person, but he still has a special place for me because of how much we have in common...mostly because we both have Asperger's. Brant Hansen is or as of Monday July 7th, 2014 was a DJ for a national syndicated Christian radio station called Air 1. He and I have exchanged messages through Facebook from time to time in pleasant conversations, but we have come to a point that is a little more serious. Brant has never shied away from his disability and if anything he has been a positive voice to anyone who would listen about his Asperger's. As I mentioned though, Air 1 is ready to shut him down. Here is what Brant had to say about his departure from the radio station:

"If you've been a listener to our radio show, please know this: I’m heartbroken over the end of the show. I've counted every day as an honor to be able to have a platform like that.…

Lost Piece #1 - The Gospel Truth

"I know my Jesus, I love Him, and I think if he needed me to believe that homosexuality was a sin, He would have mentioned it. He didn’t. When Jesus said that marriage was between a man and a woman, he was responding to a question about divorce, not sexuality.* And even the Gospels... well, even though they are gospel to me, I accept that they are also interpretations of what Jesus said and did and meant -we don’t have a single written word directly from Jesus. He could have left us something - he could have left another list of rights and wrongs when He came to Earth, but he chose not to." Glennon Doyle Melton - Aug 25, 2013
These words were penned by Ms. Glennon Doyle Melton who is an author and Christian blogger. Back in February of 2017 she announced that she was engaged to Abby Wambach a former Women's Soccer Champion. Glennon had been married to her husband (Craig Melton) for over 14 years before she divorced him due to his extramarital affairs.  Glennon had also o…

Piece #108 - Unemployment

I had the experience of something I hadn't been a part of in nearly twenty years... unemployment. I learned something rather quickly about being unemployed is that this is more of a journey than a simple trip. Trying to make the move from the world of education to the vast universe of basically...everybody else can be rather frustrating and confusing. One of the first things I had to learn was the new jargon, for example: Lead - the person just above the regular worker but, just under the supervisor. In teaching, there is no such thing; I guess the best version I can come up with is either a coordinator or a vice-principal. Production performance - the means of how well of an output one creates within a certain time and/or quality ("quota" is another term used). In education, test scores sadly are used as a barometer for how well a teacher is performing but, there are checks and balances on how well the information is being delivered and received by the students. I reall…