Piece #30 - "Failure is not an option."

I will say in some cases I do have a fear of failure. It's not constantly on my mind, but it does play a role in my thought processes. When I was growing up, I would always try my best at many different things, but in the end I would fail more times than I succeed. It didn't matter if it was sports, video games, tests in school, and of course...girls; I was a failure. As I've stated in previous blog pieces, every time I failed, I would always wonder what was wrong with me. Granted, my having Asperger's had little to do with certain events or competition because that was strictly physical, rather than social settings or mental tests.

Thinking I fail all the time is a little silly because I didn't fail all the time. If I failed, I wouldn't have a college degree, a wife and a family so in many ways I did succeed. I guess we all have a tendency to look at only what we didn't do versus what we were able to accomplish. In sports, most of my teams either won or we would come in second; and that goes for playing or coaching. In some cases, I believe there are varying degrees of what we see as failure. To my daughters, any grade other than an "A" is seen as a failure. There's nothing wrong with a "B" or "C", but to them it's not acceptable.

Honestly, it doesn't affect me as much now as it did when I was younger. I guess because I tried so hard to have friends and I was willing to do anything to gain their approval. I remember cheating on my spelling tests in 5th grade because I was tired of failing the tests all the time...I did get caught...it wasn't pretty. I felt like I had to cut corners just to get ahead so I would lower my failure rate. I think many times it was becoming too much of a burden to bear; so much that I would quit doing some things just because I was tired of failing or the potential to fail.

I guess today, I yearn for the chance to really make it big due to my successes, among the failures. If you really think about it, millions of people throughout history failed on several occasions before they finally hit the big one. (Keep in mind only one person in our history was perfect!) I still keep hoping for that chance...that opportunity to finally rise up and be seen as one who successes and doesn't...fail.

Song of Inspiration [Check it out on iTunes!]:

Song: "Impossible"

Artist: Anberlin

Album: Dark Is The Way, Light Is A Place

Here's the music video to the selected song...

This was me at Silver Dollar City (Branson, MO) riding on the Powder keg. You'll notice that I've whited out a person next to me; that would be my sister-in-law, Jen. I'm sure my brother and my wife will be disappointed that did this, but I have to remember that we see each other every summer, so I'm savin' my own skin! I'm sure the next question is 'What does this have to do with failure?' The best answer I can give is...not much. I think sometimes we'll look at people who make these faces on an intense ride like this and make fun of them. In some ways, if you’re made fun of, then you probably failed or screwed something up. That's actually far from the truth. If we can't laugh at ourselves, knowing that NOBODY IS PERFECT, then why are we here?

Piece #75 - My Directing Method

Being a director like I have for several years, there are things that I've had to deal with in this business. This isn't the professional method of directing, but this is my perspective on how to be a director in any medium. I will probably address the proper method of how to treat actors, but that is not the sole focus on what I'm going to share. As a director you will have to deal with people who think they know it all and you can't say anything that will benefit me. The problem that most amateur actors forget is that acting is an art form, but it's also an occupation. I think people tend to forget that acting is work...hard work. One of the things that I try to let the kids know is that it's a very difficult business to get into. I feel like they need to hear the truth about the world of entertainment. I tell them that they have to 'want' it very badly and do almost anything to get in. An internship is a great way to get your foot in the door, bu

Piece #103 - I.Q.

I have, in some form or fashion, addressed this topic on intelligence, but I thought I'd hit this head on. One of the big things that people with Asperger's gets tied with is having a high intelligence. I have to admit that I've had a hard time finding solid evidence on all people with Asperger's having a high intelligence. I guess this a bit of a piggy back to my earlier posting #78 No Talent Required. The difference between these two is I'm going to address the intelligence in general versus the talents from Asperger's (or Savants). When it comes to the topic of intelligence, I get a similar feeling like in high school when the class decides on 'the most successful' label. I say this because I've always questioned what is successful? In turn I would also ask in the same breath what is intelligent? Testing the intelligence of someone used to seem like either a brainiac, just an average person or an idiot...depending on the score which is reall

Piece #28 - Puzzles

I realize autism is symbolized by a puzzles piece and I've noticed that some people have taken some offense to that, but this doesn't deal directly with that topic. This is a straight observation on puzzles and how they affect me and the twins. With the new age of electronic devices, it has changed to way we do pretty much everything! In this case I want to focus on puzzles because there are lots of computer game companies that are betting on us to buy their own special puzzle game, whether it is on the iPad, iTouch or smart phone. I will say that I do own an iTouch and yes, I do love it! Unfortunately, I can get sucked into several good puzzle games. So far the top ones I love to play are Chuzzle, Bejeweled, Tiki Totems and of course...Angry Birds. To be honest, I also will go 'old school' and play Solitaire, Mahjong, Sudoku and even Tetris because they still have a place in my heart. Sometimes the simpler games I would rather play because they are quick and easier

Pressing Puzzles

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