Piece #77 - "Hard to Say I'm Sorry"

Here is one of those funny times when it's really easy to say, but harder to do. For some, giving an apology and meaning it can be two totally different things all together. When I was growing up, I will honestly say that I did as little apologizing as I could. Please don't think of me as cruel or heartless, it's just that when something happened to someone else I just didn't see the need to apologize especially if I had nothing to do with the problem. There were other times when I just wasn't simply aware that an apology was needed. I can recall many times when I mom forced me to apologize for something I might have said or done. Of course, I was not very happy for two reasons, one - I didn't like my mom forcing me to say 'I'm sorry' when I wasn't; and two - I felt like it wasn't my fault so why would I apologize for something I had nothing to do with the issue.

As I've gotten older, I have learned to be a little more cognizant of when an apology was needed. When I did say I was sorry, at least I meant it. I will have to say that I did learn that an "I'm sorry" could get me out of hot water, but I may not have really meant it at the time. As a young father, there were several times when I was in the wrong when it came to scolding my children for the naughty thing they did, but the way I punished them may have been incorrect. This is where Jaimee would step in and tell me directly that I should apologize to my child for the misuse of my discipline on my kid. It's funny because the way I reacted to my wife's command and my mother's command were identical. I did apologize to my child, but I would also leave them with the idea that they were still in the wrong for what they might have done...that is what the difference was between my wife and my mom.

Since I've been more aware of my surroundings things have changed for me in the case of apologies and even accepting them too. I know that might sound a little weird, but even accepting apologies from others was just as difficult. I guess to me I feel like either their apology is an empty one, meaning that they're not really sorry or I already know they are sorry, but I really don't need them to tell me that. Usually the look on people’s faces tells me whether or not they are telling to truth or flat out lying. I admittedly have apologized to people and look like I really meant it, but I didn't. This is a really tough emotion and social protocol that I have trouble with since I have Asperger's.

As the times change, the way we apology I think is getting even worse. It seems like lately the newer catch phrase for an apology is "My Bad". At first this really, really bugged me because I felt like it was more of a cop out apology than having at least a little remorse within the slander. In some ways, I adopted "My Bad" in uses more suited for sarcasm. I can be rather unemotional when I find myself saying that phrase to someone because even though I said, there would be a lot of resentment behind my comment. Other phrases like "That's on me" or "That's my screw-up", I find rather amusing, but I wonder if the meaning behind them has lost its luster. I realize as a society that we are willing to forgive people if they admit they were wrong and apologize for their misdeeds. I wonder if they do exactly what I tend to do and say I'm sorry just to get people off my back rather than having to listen to all the rhetoric people would chime on about the wrongs I or others might have done. As a Christian, saying I'm sorry is one thing, but truly forgiving is the root of all healing for the wrongs that we do to each other.

Song of Inspiration [Check it out on iTunes or Android!]:

Song: "Forgiveness"

Artist: Matthew West

Album: Into The Light

Here's the lyrics to the selected song:

You'll noticed that I titled the posting "Hard to say I'm sorry" is an actual song sung by the group Chicago so here's the music video to this oldie but goodie!

Piece #111 - First Impressions

"You already know that making a good first impression can go a long way. But forget all the advice you've received about dressing to impress or putting on a cheesy smile. Turns out, the true secret to building a lasting connection reaches much deeper than what you wear." "According to Amy Cuddy, a Harvard Business School professor who has researched first impressions for more than 15 years, everyone (consciously or subconsciously) asks two questions when they meeting someone new: Can I trust this person? And can I respect this person?" This quote comes from Reader's Digest and I actually found this rather compelling because I never really heard of this before. I've addressed this topic of first impressions in the past but, I have to admit that this idea is interesting. I guess since you hear a lot of things from a smile, the outfit or what you say make the difference; however these two questions have me a little perplexed. I think it depends on the ...

Piece #1 - The Beginning

I guess like embarking on any puzzle, it must always starts with the first piece. So to begin, I have Asperger's Syndrome, in other words I'm Autistic, and so this literature will be about my struggles with this disorder as an adult. I was first diagnosed back in the summer of 2004. If it wasn't for my twin daughters, I might not have ever known all the questions I have ever had in life; to them, I will always be in their debt. Growing up, you are never really aware of any differences until the judgment years...6th thru 12th grade of school. A time when one always tests their own humanity against others; meaning, how will I measure up against other students. In my eyes I seemed to be just like them; two arms and legs, ten fingers and toes, head and body...nothing unusual. Yet, for some reason, I was treated a little different than everyone else. That's one of those things that you can't quite put your finger on, but I observed on many occasions how kids would talk...

Broken Piece #2 - Susan Boyle

For those of you who are not sure who is Susan Boyle, she was the second place winner to the show "Britain's Got Talent" in 2009. She sang the famous song from Les Misérables "I Dreamed the Dream". Since the show, Susan had been making guest appearances on a variety of shows and recorded several albums. Susan's first album alone broke several chart-records and was very well received around the world. I believe why she had such incredible appeal was because she was a perfect representative of all the 'regular people' in the world. She didn't come in flashy or striking but, modest and humble. When a person like Susan is thrown into the whirlwind of concerts, parties, media, and money, it's very difficult to stay grounded and not having your own personal world torn apart. Sadly for Susan Boyle, her tiny universe is crumbling. First, she did have a health scare when she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes that prompted her to lose weight. Se...

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