Skip to main content

Piece #111 - First Impressions

"You already know that making a good first impression can go a long way. But forget all the advice you've received about dressing to impress or putting on a cheesy smile. Turns out, the true secret to building a lasting connection reaches much deeper than what you wear."
"According to Amy Cuddy, a Harvard Business School professor who has researched first impressions for more than 15 years, everyone (consciously or subconsciously) asks two questions when they meeting someone new: Can I trust this person? And can I respect this person?"
This quote comes from Reader's Digest and I actually found this rather compelling because I never really heard of this before. I've addressed this topic of first impressions in the past but, I have to admit that this idea is interesting. I guess since you hear a lot of things from a smile, the outfit or what you say make the difference; however these two questions have me a little perplexed. I think it depends on the situation. If we're talking straight interview for a job, then I guess those are two really important questions. What if you're on a date? Same two questions? (Another thought is would it be the same for a person with Asperger's?)

The only way I can personally approach this is using what I've observed with a person who has an Asperger brain. I really had to give this a real thought on whether this would be true for people who are hiring other people. I guess in some instance if I'm hiring a person for any certain job, this maybe a question that would come to me because if I want a well run business then I would want people I can depend on and trust with the responsibilities that the job may require. I would think dependability and trust would be the two biggest things more than respect. I feel like respect is a funny animal, or at least an illusion in the beginning because respect is developed and earned. Trying to make a judgement on respecting someone prior to really getting to know them is honestly near to impossible.

If this were a dating situation where I would be trying to find that special someone to live my life with then trust and respect will play a part but, not immediately and those two don't seem to top my list of 'first impressions' of finding a mate. I agree that trust in a companion is paramount but, if I were looking I think another word that would be better with trust I have to say it would be compatibility. As I mentioned before in dealing with a job, respect is one of those things that is slowly earned in a relationship; it just doesn't really happen that fast. If you think respect is a quick thing to earn then you are definitely fooling yourself. True respect is established in the actions we take and the things we say to back our work. Unlike messing up and losing respect on the job, if I lost the respect of my companion then I believe that hurts a lot more personally than in a work environment. I think of respect this way, it takes a lot of time to build but, no time to loss if we screw up. Trust can take time, especially in a relationship, but not as long as respect. Sadly, trust and respect can quickly escape together if you pull a knuckle-headed stunt.

Love and relationship versus job and the workplace are two very different settings. One is by far more intimate than the other. I find the idea of first impressions with our judgments being primarily trust and respect be a little far fetched, however I guess there might be some merit to the theory. I never read any real backing behind the idea or where the researcher came up with these two founding beliefs but, I guess if this person was doing this for 15 years then it has to be true...right?  Technically, we're not given how this was researched or what tool they used to measure their findings so I'm a little unsure on the validity of this information. I just found this rather amusing but, not quite believable. Of course, you all can have your own opinion about the article and it's information but, I find there are other things that play a more immediate role in sizing up an individual in the case of either a job or a love interest.

Just remember - "You never get a second chance to make a first impression."


Song of Inspiration (Check it out on iTunes or Play Store!):

Song: "The First Time"

Artist: Family Force 5

Album: Dance or Die




Here's the video for the selected song:


                                    





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Piece #75 - My Directing Method

Being a director like I have for several years, there are things that I've had to deal with in this business. This isn't the professional method of directing, but this is my perspective on how to be a director in any medium. I will probably address the proper method of how to treat actors, but that is not the sole focus on what I'm going to share. As a director you will have to deal with people who think they know it all and you can't say anything that will benefit me. The problem that most amateur actors forget is that acting is an art form, but it's also an occupation. I think people tend to forget that acting is work...hard work. One of the things that I try to let the kids know is that it's a very difficult business to get into. I feel like they need to hear the truth about the world of entertainment. I tell them that they have to 'want' it very badly and do almost anything to get in. An internship is a great way to get your foot in the door, bu

Piece #103 - I.Q.

I have, in some form or fashion, addressed this topic on intelligence, but I thought I'd hit this head on. One of the big things that people with Asperger's gets tied with is having a high intelligence. I have to admit that I've had a hard time finding solid evidence on all people with Asperger's having a high intelligence. I guess this a bit of a piggy back to my earlier posting #78 No Talent Required. The difference between these two is I'm going to address the intelligence in general versus the talents from Asperger's (or Savants).  When it comes to the topic of intelligence, I get a similar feeling like in high school when the class decides on 'the most successful' label. I say this because I've always questioned what is successful? In turn I would also ask in the same breath what is intelligent? Testing the intelligence of someone used to seem like either a brainiac, just an average person or an idiot...depending on the score which is reall

Piece #28 - Puzzles

I realize autism is symbolized by a puzzles piece and I've noticed that some people have taken some offense to that, but this doesn't deal directly with that topic. This is a straight observation on puzzles and how they affect me and the twins. With the new age of electronic devices, it has changed to way we do pretty much everything! In this case I want to focus on puzzles because there are lots of computer game companies that are betting on us to buy their own special puzzle game, whether it is on the iPad, iTouch or smart phone. I will say that I do own an iTouch and yes, I do love it! Unfortunately, I can get sucked into several good puzzle games. So far the top ones I love to play are Chuzzle, Bejeweled, Tiki Totems and of course...Angry Birds. To be honest, I also will go 'old school' and play Solitaire, Mahjong, Sudoku and even Tetris because they still have a place in my heart. Sometimes the simpler games I would rather play because they are quick and easier