Piece #39 - "I do..." Commitment

I thought this would be good around Valentine’s Day. I know I've addressed my marriage in general and the love I have for my wife, but in some way this would be part 2. Making a commitment by far is very difficult to do...and mean it! As I've mentioned before I've always tried to make it a point to follow through on any promise and boy is that hard to do. Trying to make a promise to the one you love is even harder!

I love the line "for better or for worse..." and of course the two of you stand there together saying your vows, you're not really thinking about the "worse" part of the sentence just the better half. Anyone who has been married knows that at some point, there is always a worse part. I realize no one ever wants to talk about it, but it really is a test to any person’s commitment and marriage. In my case, we've lost family members, had illnesses, had to separate for job reasons, been broke (money) several times; so going through these episodes can take a toll on a relationship and the commitment you made to each other. The best thing I can say is that it's always better to face the situation together than to face off with each other. I know blame can quickly be placed on each other, but what is done, is done and the both of you will have to decide how to solve the problem together. You always have to keep in mind WHY you made the commitment to your spouse in the first place.

I guess I better define my terms because I've used the words 'commitment' and 'promise' interchangeably. To me a promise is a statement that declares that you will do what you can to honor what you say you will do; a commitment is a statement and action that is given to a person for a lifetime. I see it as a very long promise. The bad part about a promise is that my Asperger's can get in the way in means of me forgetting I had ever made a promise! That can be very frustrating because I had every intention of unfulfilling what I said, but fail because I forgot what I would have to do. In this case it's not intentional; it's just how I am. When it comes to my marriage however, I can never forget. If I did I'd be a dead man! Let's just say the ring around my finger is a constant reminder. (Actually, I'd feel weird if I didn't have my ring on.)

I know that the state of marriage has changed a great deal over the last several decades and that over 50% end in divorce; but I think if you really consider the commitment you're making this might help you in whether or not you would want to follow through with the ceremony. You want to make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. It's so easy to say that I really love this person, but you have to ask yourself how much do really love the person? Do you feel like you can live your life with someone else? I guess you would have to ask yourself, how far do you want to go? To me, with Jaimee, it's always 'until death do us part.'

Song of Inspiration [Check it out on iTunes!]:

Song: "Heartbeat"

Artist: The Fray

Album: Scars & Stories

Here's the music video to the song I've suggested for this posting. This is a great love song!

This is a photo of my oldest daughter Megan and her husband Chris. They made a commitment to be married and so far they're doing rather well...I'm very proud of the both of them. God Bless.

Piece #111 - First Impressions

"You already know that making a good first impression can go a long way. But forget all the advice you've received about dressing to impress or putting on a cheesy smile. Turns out, the true secret to building a lasting connection reaches much deeper than what you wear." "According to Amy Cuddy, a Harvard Business School professor who has researched first impressions for more than 15 years, everyone (consciously or subconsciously) asks two questions when they meeting someone new: Can I trust this person? And can I respect this person?" This quote comes from Reader's Digest and I actually found this rather compelling because I never really heard of this before. I've addressed this topic of first impressions in the past but, I have to admit that this idea is interesting. I guess since you hear a lot of things from a smile, the outfit or what you say make the difference; however these two questions have me a little perplexed. I think it depends on the ...

Piece #1 - The Beginning

I guess like embarking on any puzzle, it must always starts with the first piece. So to begin, I have Asperger's Syndrome, in other words I'm Autistic, and so this literature will be about my struggles with this disorder as an adult. I was first diagnosed back in the summer of 2004. If it wasn't for my twin daughters, I might not have ever known all the questions I have ever had in life; to them, I will always be in their debt. Growing up, you are never really aware of any differences until the judgment years...6th thru 12th grade of school. A time when one always tests their own humanity against others; meaning, how will I measure up against other students. In my eyes I seemed to be just like them; two arms and legs, ten fingers and toes, head and body...nothing unusual. Yet, for some reason, I was treated a little different than everyone else. That's one of those things that you can't quite put your finger on, but I observed on many occasions how kids would talk...

Piece #12 - "Temper, Temper."

Anger is a learned behavior. When we come into this world, we comprehend how to react to things by watching others. One of my many...many weaknesses has always been my anger. As you can tell I enjoy writing and whenever I've written in my characters for a story, at least one would have an anger issue. The story I'm currently writing now called Horizon, the main character Miko has problems with her rage. It's something she'll have to deal with throughout the entire story. I guess in many ways it's a reflection on how I've had to handle it. Early in our marriage, I had warned my wife that I would need her help in making sure I wouldn’t let the anger get ahold of me, for the main reason...the kids. I love my girls way too much for them to pick up the same bad habit. Yes, I obviously understand that we all get angry from time to time. ( Even Jesus got angry when merchants were selling their items in the temple .) I'm talking about an extreme anger when in many ...

AnonymousFebruary 9, 2013 at 12:48 AM
Love and marriage take work, to many people want things to be simple. I hate it when I see couples put more money and work into their wedding then they want to with their marriage. The wedding is not nearly as important as taking time to make sure you both want the same things in life.

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