Piece #22 - The Power of Love

As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I love my wife. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be married. To be honest, my tale of love was rather strange as a child. I was very self-aware of women very early in life, for example, I had cut out a picture of a woman in a bra and then proceeded to color in Superman symbols around her when I was 6 years old. I was really young when I had my first kiss, granted I tricked the very lovely young lady, but I got it! We were downstairs in my house and I told the girl to pretend to be a patient and I was going to be the doctor. (You can almost tell how this was going to end.) I remember being really excited, but nervous. I took a second to look at how beautiful she was; then I leaned down and kissed her right on the lips! Of course, right after that she got mad and left, but it was awesome.

When I was in middle school, I did have one female admirer, but I also had the bully who liked her too, but she ended up liking someone else...I got stuck with the bully. I didn't have a lot of luck in high school, going to a small school didn't help, but I did have a one or two temporary girlfriends until they moved out of town or found a "better" guy. I'm kind of glad I didn't have a long term girlfriend only because it gave me the chance to check out different girls to see what might be the best eventual wife for me. Strangely, I never had a lot of luck with girl's whose name started with "J". I literally dated a Jody, Jennifer, Jackie, Jill and Julie with no luck...of course the greatest irony, I married Jaimee (go figure!).

I've already written about how I met Jaimee and what happen since, but I want to come at it from a different angle with her and the love I have for her. As a man with Asperger's, it's not too hard for me to get 'distracted' with other women. However, I would never ever think about cheating on Jaimee. My feelings for her run real deep because I guess in some ways; she took a chance on me. With everything she had been through in her early life (let's just say it was really bad), she was willing to throw all of her commitment, dedication, love and security into my arms. That is a heavy load, but because I love her so much, it was a task I was willing to take. If you want to know if your marriage is good, you have to ask yourself 'Do you enjoy being with your spouse?'. If the answer is no, then why are you married? Jaimee doesn't want me to be around her every single second, but she enjoys being with me. Granted, with the Asperger's, Jaimee has to remind me that I might be hanging over her a little too much, but being married to her as long as I have, I have picked up on the timing a little bit better on when I'm going too far.

For any of you with Asperger's and you have an issue with love, all I can say is that it will take time. Asperger's or not, a relationship is hard work, but it can be rewarding. I would never trade the years I've had with Jaimee for anything else. We have four beautiful girls and when it's just us two again, we'll just pick up where we left off before kids! (Who am I kidding? The kids will be with us forever!) When I said those vows back in 1989, I meant it and I still today. That is how any relationship should be, and having Jesus in the middle of the marriage is the best thing of all. I can't guarantee any marriage because you have to go off your own judgment, but remember it takes two people to run a relationship...you have to be a team.

Song of Inspiration [Check it out on iTunes!]:

Song: “Lead Me”

Artist: Sanctus Real

Album: Pieces of a Real Heart

{I really want to encourage you to listen to this song; it really calls me out as both a husband and a father. Here's the video to the song!}

LET ME ADD ONE SONG BECAUSE THIS IS OUR SONG AS A COUPLE:

Song: “Fragile”

Artist: Sting

Album: “…Nothing like the Sun.”

SURPRISE!!!! Here's the music video for Fragile!

I love you Jaimee!

Piece #111 - First Impressions

"You already know that making a good first impression can go a long way. But forget all the advice you've received about dressing to impress or putting on a cheesy smile. Turns out, the true secret to building a lasting connection reaches much deeper than what you wear." "According to Amy Cuddy, a Harvard Business School professor who has researched first impressions for more than 15 years, everyone (consciously or subconsciously) asks two questions when they meeting someone new: Can I trust this person? And can I respect this person?" This quote comes from Reader's Digest and I actually found this rather compelling because I never really heard of this before. I've addressed this topic of first impressions in the past but, I have to admit that this idea is interesting. I guess since you hear a lot of things from a smile, the outfit or what you say make the difference; however these two questions have me a little perplexed. I think it depends on the ...

Piece #1 - The Beginning

I guess like embarking on any puzzle, it must always starts with the first piece. So to begin, I have Asperger's Syndrome, in other words I'm Autistic, and so this literature will be about my struggles with this disorder as an adult. I was first diagnosed back in the summer of 2004. If it wasn't for my twin daughters, I might not have ever known all the questions I have ever had in life; to them, I will always be in their debt. Growing up, you are never really aware of any differences until the judgment years...6th thru 12th grade of school. A time when one always tests their own humanity against others; meaning, how will I measure up against other students. In my eyes I seemed to be just like them; two arms and legs, ten fingers and toes, head and body...nothing unusual. Yet, for some reason, I was treated a little different than everyone else. That's one of those things that you can't quite put your finger on, but I observed on many occasions how kids would talk...

Broken Piece #2 - Susan Boyle

For those of you who are not sure who is Susan Boyle, she was the second place winner to the show "Britain's Got Talent" in 2009. She sang the famous song from Les Misérables "I Dreamed the Dream". Since the show, Susan had been making guest appearances on a variety of shows and recorded several albums. Susan's first album alone broke several chart-records and was very well received around the world. I believe why she had such incredible appeal was because she was a perfect representative of all the 'regular people' in the world. She didn't come in flashy or striking but, modest and humble. When a person like Susan is thrown into the whirlwind of concerts, parties, media, and money, it's very difficult to stay grounded and not having your own personal world torn apart. Sadly for Susan Boyle, her tiny universe is crumbling. First, she did have a health scare when she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes that prompted her to lose weight. Se...

AnonymousJune 8, 2012 at 5:58 PM
We seem to have the opposite issue. I crave allot more alone time then my wife does. I need time alone with my books.

Don't get me wrong I enjoy spending time together, but I also require much alone time.
Christopher Wheat/Jaimee WheatJune 8, 2012 at 7:57 PM
In many ways I yearn to have more alone time, but my biggest problem isn't my wife...it's the kids. I know it's important to spend time with them, but they can suck it dry if you're not careful...you become their entertainment. It is a very difficult balance. I hope you're able to find the right balance in your relationship.

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